1. Ignore me when I come into the store. Better yet, ignore me when I come up to the register to spend my hard-earned money. Or, you could disappear when I have a question or need help.

2. Bad-mouth your competitor in your sales pitch (or even just in your conversation with me). If your product/service/etc. doesn’t stand on its own merits, telling me that Joe Blow Down the Street sells shoddy couches is not going to win me over into buying yours.

3. Make me wait. Or, even better, make me wait unnecessarily. Most customers understand when you’re busy, but if I see employees standing around and doing nothing while I’m standing around and waiting for service, you just lost me.

4. Make me feel stupid. You’re the expert in this situation; I’m not. This is why I’m asking you the question.

5. Make yourself look stupid. Like I said, you’re the expert in this situation. You should know your product/service/etc. Also, refer to #2 because that’ll make you look stupid, too.

My approved what?

5.5 This one didn’t exactly make the cut, but it will make me laugh at you and shake my head: Have typos, bad grammar, or incorrect punctuation anywhere in your store, your literature, or web site. No, I won’t bye you’re DVD’s.