For some reason, though, Disney didn’t tell Paul that they’d remedied his concerns. I’m not sure why they would choose to let that opportunity pass them by. In my opinion, it’d turn an unsatisfactory customer experience into a much better one. Who wouldn’t want that? Instead, it just makes them look as though they don’t want to admit to their small error in judgment.

(*I’m making this up, so my apologies if there is actually a web site out there that claims to be the happiest place online and it’s not Disney.)

And without further ado . . .

A while ago, I went online to buy a gift for a friend from the The Disney Store. Everything went smoothly at first. I found the item I was looking for, started the checkout procedure, put in the shipping address… no problems. Then I put in the billing information, and got a strange error:

“Oops! We cannot continue the updating process with the text you have entered.”

Text filters change "Wiener" to "****" without any clear reason why.

I tried everything I could think of. Reentered all the information. Put my street, town, and phone number in different formats. Same error. I tried editing the delivery address (which had been accepted) with my billing address, and… same error.

Finally, it hit me. My last name is Wiener. I’ve been fortunate enough to have reached adulthood without being picked on because of that, but I’m aware that it’s sometimes considered a bad word. I put it in as “Wiene r,” and, sure enough, it went through. At least, the address did. I had to do the same thing with the name on my credit card before it would accept that, too.

I immediately wrote to customer service. In part because I was worried that mangling my name would cause issues with the credit card transaction, but also because I found the idea of my name being a banned word to be offensive.

I received a reply that evening. The representative assured me that the order had gone through and offered repeated apologies about the text filter. So far so good. I was less happy about his proposed solution – if it really bothered me, I could place my order by phone.

I wrote back the following morning:

Thank you for your understanding and apologies. I’m glad to know that the order went through.

I do, however, find myself with something of an unresolved issue. As I understand it, you still have a text filter which is blocking out my name as a naughty word. It’s not that uncommon a name. And it’s not really that naughty. You can find it boldly printed on many packages in your local grocery store. Even advertised in a popular TV jingle.

Frankly, I don’t see what reason you could possibly have for putting in a text filter in the names field of the billing information form. Or, for that matter, any field on that form. We can’t help our family names, and you have no place judging them. Will you also block out everyone who happens to be named “Wang”? Or anyone who lives on a street with a name you don’t approve of?

What good does that filter do? What are you trying to block? Pranksters? I doubt there are many who would bother going through the whole order process just to put in a juvenile fake name. Even if they do, the charges wouldn’t go through.

I got through grade school and summer camp without being picked on because of my name. My father was in the army and never saw a sign of disrespect from anyone who had to address Major Wiener. Now I come to your store, where everyone is supposed to feel magically welcome, and there, of all places, I have to change my name because it’s been blocked out for no good reason?

I realize that you’re a customer service representative, and not personally responsible for the policy, but it’s nonetheless a policy that has to change.

Early that afternoon, I received a reply from a different customer service representative. Without addressing the actual issue at hand, she thanked me for my “candid feedback,” told me that she had forwarded the message to management, and once again offered the suggestion that if I’m having trouble with their online ordering system, they’d be more than happy to take my order by phone.

In the ten days since then, I’ve heard nothing more. The website continues to reject my name on the billing form and replace it with “****” as if it was an obscenity (something I’d originally taken to be a glitch or some kind of security measure).

Disney’s customer service representatives were prompt and courteous in their replies. The order went through in good time and the gift was received with gratitude and excitement. I couldn’t be happier, as far as that goes. And yet I still find myself a less than satisfied customer. Not so long as I find the store itself rejecting me, my name being coldly and needlessly censored.

Disney, I am not feeling the magic. Clearly, your computers aren’t, either. You need to fix this.

UPDATE: Disney seems to have taken the naughty word filter off their order form. But they didn’t tell anyone.