You're telling me THIS is a plus-sized model?!

I’m following @LaneBryant on Twitter. I’m not sure they’re following me, but that’s hardly the point since they should be monitoring their name on Twitter anyway; they should notice when I mention them, right? Well, they didn’t. But that’s okay, because I know it’s a busy world out there and businesses don’t have time to respond to every single complaint. Even if I complain about the same thing a second time. Really, it’s okay.

Before I get started on the rant, though, I did want to give Lane Bryant the props they deserve. They hire GREAT people. I’ve never walked into a Lane Bryant store and not been greeted with a friendly smile and offer of help. Even better, they are not the type to hover! And when you do have a question, they’re knowledgeable and un-intimidating. Also, they’re always sure to let me know the current deals and promotions to help me get the most for my money.

Now. The rant.

The other day, I found a tweet from Lane Bryant asking for my opinion on ads. Well, I have a lot to say about Lane Bryant and their catalog and ads, and I’m going to say it here (and I’ll post my direct answers to their questions as a comment on their web site, as they asked – even though it’s highly irritating that I have to become a member and give them my home address before I can leave a comment). Here are the 10 questions they asked in their survey along with my answers:

1. When you receive ads in the mail, which ones do you pay attention to?

Most ads end up in the recycle bin. I’ll look at the grocery store ads, but don’t get much use out of them. The only retail ads I get (if I recall correctly) are for Fashion Bug and Lane Bryant. If I have time to kill, I sometimes quickly scan through those catalogs to look at the clothes.

2. Which retailer’s advertisements grab your eye and why?

I guess the Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug ones, as they’re colorful . . . and the only ones I get.

3. Who sends you the best advertising or catalog?

The best? I guess I’ll say Fashion Bug.

4. When you get the Lane Bryant magalog – what are your first thoughts?

“Hrm. Lane Bryant pisses me off because they have too many skinny chicks in here.”

5. What is Lane Bryant doing right in its advertising?

Are the coupons and “Real Women Dollars” part of the advertising? If they are, you’re doing that right.

6. What is Lane Bryant doing wrong in its advertising?

Check out the panties section of your web site, where the pictures show the belly and hips. I see maybe three women who might qualify as “slightly overweight”. Where are the Real Women you tout? Oh, right. They’re hidden in your blog/community/whatchamacalit.

7. Does the Lane Bryant magalog look expensive, not expensive, or inexpensive?

Not expensive.

8. What are your favorite things about the Lane Bryant magalog?

Not much. I guess that there are coupons. But they’re rarely useful – to me, personally – since I don’t shop for clothing that often. It’s good to know they’re there, though, for when I do need to go shopping.

9. What don’t you like about the Lane Bryant magalog?

Hello. Page 26 of the current catalog. You’re kidding me, right? I would really like to know what size this woman is wearing because I wear size 18/20, which as you know, is the next size up from the smallest you offer – 14/16. I am nowhere NEAR looking like this woman. Check out the panties section of your web site, where the pictures show the belly and hips. Seriously?

You know those Real Women of Lane Bryant I mentioned earlier? These are the women I want to see a lot more of in the catalog and on the web site. This woman, she makes me want to buy her clothes. Why? Because she’s REAL. And she looks happy and confident, regardless of her weight! Does anyone really relate to the fashion show model posing? I don’t. Maybe that’s because I’ve been jaded by so many years of looking at bizarre clothing on waif-like women in bizarre poses – you know, the ones running rampant in most magazines.

10. And last but not least – what store do you buy most of your clothes?

Fashion Bug and Wal-Mart. I don’t have the money to buy everything I’d want from Lane Bryant. Also, Fashion Bug tends to have “younger” styles than Lane Bryant.

But it’s not the only thing companies need to focus on! What about all the complaints lodged by consumers on YouTube? Just check out the search results I got for “horrible customer service”. There’s quite a few, and “horrible” is only one possible adjective you could search with! The old maxim that a happy customer will tell one person and an unhappy customer will tell ten friends . . . well, the internet just multiplies things. Unhappy customers aren’t just telling ten friends, they’re telling anyone who will listen. And the offending company had better be listening so they can do some damage control!

Here are a few examples of how YouTube has been used by consumers to express their unhappiness about the customer service – or lack thereof – they received:

United Airlines Breaks Guitars

Dave Carroll, the musician whose guitar was broken, explains the whole story on his website. He also includes United’s response. And to be fair to United, he’s made a statement video on YouTube as well:

Hilton Hell

This one’s a personal contribution from a lovely business trip I took with Cia Romano.

I think we still have yet to get a response to the video, but that’s up to the Hilton. However, Cia and I would both like to thank the staff of the Hilton Arlington, especially Henry the bellman, who did their best in trying to make do with the hotel they work in.

1. The Web site is freakin’ awesome. What other company gives you the ability to search for a car by so many different criteria?

2. The Sales Consultants are non-commissioned. You know what that means? They’re out to help you, not themselves. Granted, I only have experience with one sales consultant, Patrick Porter in Tucson, AZ, but I have to say that he gave my husband and me hands-down the best customer service experience we’ve ever had.

3. The Price Sticker – what you see is what you get. Part of this goes back to the non-commissioned sales consultants; there’s no need to haggle on the pricing of the car.

4. The Sales Process was long, but like I said earlier, it was the best experience I’ve ever had. We didn’t get tossed around from department to department – financing, sales, etc. – Patrick was our CarMax host all the way through the process.

5. The Choice of Cars is vast. There isn’t just a large selection of high-quality used cars at each location, but they’ll ship what you want where you want. You can search for the car you want online, and they’ll ship it to your local CarMax. Yes, there’s a fee, but when you can get exactly what you want, I don’t think it’s such a big deal to pay a little extra.

The husband with our "new" car!

6. CarMax does Twitter right. CarMax knows what they’re doing when it comes to social media and customer service. Any business that doesn’t see the connection between the two nowadays is missing a huge opportunity. Just to give one example:

The night we bought our new (”previously owned”) car, my husband and I both tweeted pictures of us with our new purchase. We were thrilled about it. And you know what, CarMax was excited for us too, because they responded to our tweets.

From the moment I picked up the phone to call CarMax to the time we drove off the lot, I’ve gotten ridiculously great customer service from CarMax. Actually, the service still continues today. Even if they’re not actively doing anything now to “serve” me, I can tell that CarMax cares. I’m a happy customer. I tell ALL my friends EVERYONE where to get their next car. I’m a fan for life because CarMax is made of awesome.